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An ADHD Mood
Dec. 26th, 2019 09:45 pmI'm in a very strange mood just now: I'm hyperfocusing on a fic, but also denying myself the ability to read it. It is right there and it would be super easy to just click over and read another few scenes, just to a new stopping point, except...
Except I have work tomorrow, and I know I have to sleep. So I put it "away" about an hour ago to distract myself with other things, like refreshing Tumblr and folding laundry while listening to a podcast. It's mostly working; I've got a good mental distance from the fic now, and I think I can manage to ignore it for the rest of the night.
But the craving to read it is still there, like an itch I can't (or rather, won't allow myself to) scratch. I hunger for this particular stimulation, and yet I deny myself.
Anyway, fighting hyperfocus is difficult and annoying, and I don't like it.
Except I have work tomorrow, and I know I have to sleep. So I put it "away" about an hour ago to distract myself with other things, like refreshing Tumblr and folding laundry while listening to a podcast. It's mostly working; I've got a good mental distance from the fic now, and I think I can manage to ignore it for the rest of the night.
But the craving to read it is still there, like an itch I can't (or rather, won't allow myself to) scratch. I hunger for this particular stimulation, and yet I deny myself.
Anyway, fighting hyperfocus is difficult and annoying, and I don't like it.
