Pronoun Trouble

The metaphorical devil on my shoulder: "You know, you don't have to do that final paper for Intro to Human Services. You've got enough extra credit to cover 30% of it, and that'll probably be enough to keep your grade in the low 'A's. And even if it's not, would a 'B' really be so bad?"

Me: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, I did not go through two semesters doing every piece of homework assigned to fail at the final stretch, I am doing this shit, even if I only manage the bare minimum!"

Metaphorical devil on my shoulder: "Okay, jeez, lighten up! It was just a suggestion!"

Me: *already ignoring the devil and refocusing on the paper*


I refuse to let this paper win 😤

Edit: Paper completed and submitted! With this, I have officially done all graded homework for my back-to-school career. I am very proud of myself.

Week one for Social Problems class:
- Read one chapter of your textbook
- Write an essay on a half-hour documentary

Week two for Social Problems class:
- Read one chapter of your textbook
- Write an essay on a half-hour documentary

This week for Social Problems class:
- Read two chapters of your textbook, one for Tuesday and one for Thursday
- Write an essay on a two(-and-a-half?) hour documentary

Next week for Social Problems class:
- Read two chapters of your textbook, also one for Tuesday and one for Thursday
- At least there's no documentary to write an essay on!
- Oh wait, you get to study for an exam taking place on the first day of Week 5 instead
- Welp! Good luck with that!

I'll tell you what a social problem is, I'm going to be a social problem if I have to keep this up 🤬

Okay. Okay, I can do this. I'm very glad I checked the class schedule today, because that means I can get a solid handle on my energy needs and get started on that reading ASAP. I can manage this. (If I didn't like these teachers I would be so fucked.)

Edit: Just emailed my Intro to Human Services teacher (not this class, but also more homework-heavy than I'd like) to say that I'm borderline struggling and also help please. She's been pretty vocal about wanting to help us if she can, so. Fingers crossed!

Okay! Time to buckle down and write my informative speech outline!

(I am 100% going to talk to my Speech teacher about the possibility of getting an early start on our final speech, because this whole "Write a speech to present in one week" thing is just. No. No? No, thank you, I do not care for that.)

After that, I can get back to the important work of figuring out how to get characters in the correct position for a Sot 69 fic.

It's time for another episode of America's favorite game show: Rotate! That! Mattress!

Edit: And returning contestant Socchan has done it again! The mattress has been rotated 180°, and the sheets changed at the same time. This time around, Socchan notably chose not to move the dresser at the foot of the bed, seeming to save some extra seconds in the final time and some overall effort. Will Socchan continue this gamble in upcoming appearances? Only time will tell!

Today, as in every episode, Socchan walks away with a mattress that has been slightly rejuvenated and whose lifespan has been extended just a bit longer, as well as the feeling of sleeping on fresh sheets to look forward to.

Join us again in two months for another episode of Rotate That Mattress!

Today was technically Staycation Day Two at work, but I ended up staying at home on account of Ice Storm.

It was bad. I got permission from my parents to take my mom's spot in the garage, so I wouldn't have to get any ice off of my car in the morning; I set my alarm for an extra 40 minutes early, just to deal with anything related to weather and travel; and I made sure to get to bed at a reasonable hour, for all I still slept pretty badly. My boss also texted me last night around eight to let me know that if the roads were too bad, I should stay home, and my coworkers would make things work without me. Which is a hell of an offer for Staycation, let me tell you!

It also left me super tempted to go completely off the rails: Stay up way too late reading and surfing the internet, then get up with my alarm just to text my boss that Oh Noes, the roads are too bad, I must stay at home! I wasn't going to, but the temptation, it was real.

Turns out I didn't need to! I did end up getting up with my alarm, then checked road conditions on my phone. Travel was "strongly discouraged". I texted my boss to that effect, but offered to drive around the block to see how I felt about things anyway. Since I didn't get a response right away, I went on with my morning on the assumption that I would at least make a try of driving to work.

I was dressed and had eaten most of my breakfast when my boss texted back (only about ten or fifteen minutes later, my morning routine is pretty quick): The roads were reportedly terrible and I should stay home.

So! Let the record show that I did everything right, with the full intention of going to work today to make sure my coworkers weren't swamped! This still counts as defeating my temptation, even if I got what I mostly wanted in the end regardless. (I ultimately would've been okay with working today; I do need more hours in general, and the odds of taking leftover cookies home are probably going to be much lower tomorrow, but I don't regret having a day to rest during this shitfest, and also not driving on icy roads.)

Welp, turns out I'm neither flying to Texas, nor driving there. Mom called this evening to report that she was Done and had started driving home already, so I could cancel my car rental (which I did end up getting).

Honestly, I'm not entirely surprised by this turn of events. I love my grandma, but she's pretty high maintenance; Mom's younger sister has also apparently been staying/helping out a bit, Mom's relationship with her is... tense at best.

Anyway, I expect to see Mom and Molly the dog sometime tomorrow probably. Pampering them (especially Mom) will likely be on the agenda.

(Honestly, I lucked out; I did not win the war against a major hyperfixation phase(?), and the less said about how much sleep I didn't get over the past few days, the better.)

Brain: Say, it's been a while since the Miraculous Ladybug shine started wearing off; how would you like a new hyperfixation?

Me: ...Is it Avery and Zeek? Or something else that's more productive than consumptive?

Brain: No, sorry ♥

Me: Then... no? No, thank you? Like, yes in concept, very much so, I do so much better when I have a fandom, but uh. Right now is... Look, I just really need my executives to actually be functioning right now, because Shit's Goin' Down. Any chance we can bookmark this stuff for later?

Brain: ...I will get you when you least expect it and least want it. Just you wait.

( The circumstances )

So. That is why I will need to be rationing my executive function very carefully over the next week or so, potential hyperfixations be damned. I would allow myself more slack if I were at least getting something more out of it, like some worldbuilding or crocheting done, but not if it's only "breathing in". I definitely need to breathe in, but for my own sake, I'll have to temporarily settle for quick gulps of air, at least for the next few days, and maybe a nice, deep breath on like. Wednesday.

Burgeoning willpower, I'm counting on you!

Car laundry

Make dentist appointment

Make eye appointment?

Regular laundry (dark colors)

Medicaid paperwork (online preferred)

Okay, let's do the thing!

Coworker M got some logistics wrong today over cookies we need tomorrow, and neglected to tell Lead Cook J before leaving.

Lead Cook J proceeded to heap praise on me when I reacted by saying, "Welp, I guess I'll be spending the remaining hours I'm scheduled today making cookies," instead of complaining about it, and then looking for solutions when the numbers turned out to be even further off than we'd initially thought.

And like. I do feel a little bit responsible, because I can vaguely remember Coworker M mentioning to me that not everything was upstairs after all, but I was distracted with another project. And Coworker M was definitely irresponsible in not telling Lead Cook J what she told me, and leaving him to assume that she had, in fact, gotten everything we need for tomorrow from downstairs, the way she said she would. And damned if I'm not tickled that my efforts are being noticed and celebrated.

I guess it just feels a little surreal? Some of this is kinda just. Leftover survival stuff from the previous pastry chef, who wouldn't let us leave if there was still work to do. (Within certain parameters, but still.) Complaining about it would get me exactly jack shit, while doing the work would get the work done. Part of it is also one of my personal workarounds for my executive dysfunction; I've learned that, if I acknowledge my "I don't want to do the thing," and accept that, and that doing the thing sucks, then I can set it aside and skip over it to "I am going to do the thing", and that makes doing the thing easier.

So it feels kinda weird to be praised for this now? Good weird, not MAGA weird. But yeah. Still weird.

I think I'll take it, though.

This year, Molly the dachshund-terrier mix decided/realized that she's afraid of fireworks. I'm reasonably sure that some of them were louder and/or closer this year than they have been in past years, which contributed to things; I ended up letting her stay the night with me on July 4th and 5th, because people were still doing fireworks on Friday, because Friday. There were still more fireworks going on Saturday night, but I had to turn Molly down for that one, since I had already lost a good chunk of sleep to her the previous two nights and had work on Sunday morning.

I ended up nearly having a meltdown at work on Sunday, partly due to not managing to catch up on sleep on Saturday, and partly due to... Well. ( A bit of a mess of timing, really. )

Anyway, pretty sure a lot of that can be chalked up to the "executive dysfunction" column of ADHD, which doesn't make dealing with it easier, but at least I know the probable reason why.

Today I had a much more relaxing day. I went out and picked up some supplies at Joann's, a couple of items from the grocery store, got deputized to take care of the dog, and then got a nice, long afternoon nap in before dog walk o'clock at 5pm. I'm hoping for even more relaxing tomorrow.