Actually calling this "Why I Hate Mark Twain" would probably just be asking for hell

We're supposed to write a one-page essay on a modern child's hero for Culture and Technology, as inspired by Thomas De Zengotita's Mediated. Except I really hate the book, as every time I read it I feel like the author is trying to force-feed me bullshit, complete with spoon and nose-pinching. (I, in turn, spit it back in his face. Gimme back my strained carrots!) So instead, have an essay on why Mark Twain/Samuel Clemens is -not- actually my hero, and was never really my hero in the first place!

( The Death of a Never Hero )

...I think that may have come off more sourly than I intended it to. Oh, well! Gotta have fun with classwork sometimes, yanno?

I am totally blaming my mood on hormones when I feel better. I swear.