soc_puppet | Fic: Female Problems: 1/1

Fandom: Detective Conan
Summary: In which Conan is cured... sort-of. Crack, probably not worksafe.
For:

dogmatix_san; return fic for this. Picture definitely not worksafe.
Fic: Female Problems

Conan stared at the glass in front of him. To drink or not to drink?

"Hey Kudo," Heiji said, marching unceremoniously into the room and settling in the chair next to him. "What's with the cup?"

"It's the cure," Conan replied, not taking his eyes from the glass. "Haibara finished it this morning."

Heiji looked from the glass to the pint-sized detective and back again. "So why ain't'cha big yet?"

"Because," Conan replied, "Haibara said it probably has weird side-effects. She's working on a new one right now that'll be better, but she's not sure how long it will take to finish."

"So you've either got the cure now an' you don't know what it'll do, or ya got the cure fer sure later but you don't know when?" Heiji asked. "An' you can't decide which one to go with?"

Conan nodded. "What would you do, Hattori?"

Heiji mulled it over. "I'd pro'ly take the cure now. I could get back to my life sooner if it worked, and I'd have a back-up later if it didn't."

"Right." Conan regarded the glass for another few seconds. Then, screwing his eyes closed, he reached forward and swallowed half of it down.

Over the five minutes it tok for Conan to change back into Shin'ichi, he was very glad that Ai had found a way to numb the pain of the transition. He was aware of his limbs growing longer and his muscles stretching to fit them, but it didn't hurt. When he couldn't feel any more changes, he hesitantly peeled an eye open.

"Well?" he asked, pleased to hear that his voice was deeper than it had been a moment ago and that he was closer to eye-level with a rather shell-shocked Heiji. He pulled at his shirt, which was tighter than he had expected. "Did it work?"

Heiji's eyes shone with mirth. "In a manner a speakin'."

Shin'ichi frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Look down," Heiji told him, grinning.

Shin'ichi did so and saw two unfamiliar lumps of flesh barely concealed by the now much too small shirt he wore. Coloring, he dashed out of the room to find some new clothes to fit him--or rather her--self.

She returned not much later in a pair of pants and with bandages wrapped clumsily around her chest. "This," she announced, "is all your fault."

"How 'zactly is it my fault, Kudo?" Heiji asked, smothering laughter.

She jabbed a finger at him. "You're the one who told me to go through with it!"

"Yeah, but ya didn't hafta do it!" Heiji protested. "Besides, it's not that bad."

Shin'ichi's nostrils flared. Her patience, already stretched thin by stress, an influx of hormones, and an absurd attraction to the other detective, snapped. "Not that bad? Not that bad?! Let's see how you like it, then!" With that, she flung the remaining inch of liquid cure in his face.

Ten minutes later there were two female detectives in the room and Shin'ichi was considerably calmer.

"Sorry about that," Shin'ichi said. "I guess I got a little carried away."

"Yeah, well." Heiji cleared her throat. "I can sorta see where you're comin' from. Anyway, what do we do now?"

Shin'ichi thought for a moment, then smirked. Heiji swallowed, not liking her friend's expression but unable to run in terror. "Well, we are detectives," she mused.

"Yeah..."

"So why don't you try and figure out where my g-spot is while I investigate how far your tan goes?" Shin'ichi purred.

Heiji could not remember having gotten undressed so quickly before.

--Fin--

Would've liked to have this done sooner, but it took forever to find the beginning. And the middle. And then my brother started watching the Reduced Shakespear Company. Not too bad a turnaround, though.

Anyway, everyone go compliment Mati on her wonderful drawing ♥

To be cross-posted...