Pronoun Trouble

- There, relied on his father's status as Metropolitan Chief of Police to get officers with more experience (but less observatory power) to listen to him.
I think there's a "He" missing. Am also tempted to put "Observational skill(s)" or "brain power"(although the latter's just mean.)

- All good I think. Although the "flirts badly" line seemed more powerful to me without the fan-club mention.

- did you put that he's a Sherlock Holmes geek that goes around in a deerstalker? :cD;;