Help Haiti auction one closes, some linkblogging

[soc_puppet]

I was totally going to do a post warning about how the main auction at help_haiti was closing soon, except A) I slept in until noon today, since school was canceled, and B) I got the closing time mixed up, not realizing it meant noon instead of midnight. W-whoops.

In any case! Bidding ended today a few hours ago. Here's something you may want to take a look at: Auction Closing Procedures. I will definitely be reading it closely myself at some point in the very near future.


In other linkblogging news: Liberal Bloggers to Obama and Dems: We Told You So


Also, while I normally have the utmost respect for Neil Gaiman, I really can't approve of his use of the word "bitch." (Trigger Warning for last link.)

Thanks to a lightbird777, I was expecting the Depp-seems-to-be-on-Team-Polanski thing. Even if I don't care much for Gaiman's solo work, however, this feels like more of a slap in the face.

Edit: Neil Gaiman, when negative reactions to his use of "bitch" were presented to him, has just said he will try to do better in the future". While he doesn't seem to feel contrite about its use in the George R. R. Martin post (where it is definitely used to mean "Someone who is at your disposal to use however you like", with the sexual implications all but out loud), it is at least slightly encouraging.

Edit 2: Aaaaand now we're moving backwards. *sigh*

-Trigger Warning-

Dear Mr. Gaiman,

On the off-chance that you are reading this post, I would like to take the opportunity to be a little clearer:

It makes me uncomfortable that you are using the term "bitch" to convey your sense of safety as a writer. As a woman, I am not afforded this same level of safety in regards to my basic personhood. There is as much as a twenty-five percent chance that I will become someone's "bitch" in my lifetime, and not in the sense you use it. It makes me cringe when I think of my friends and family members who have the same odds, or who already have been someone's "bitch".

The fact that you are comparing this to writing, or the idea that someone "has" to write something, is alienating and hurtful to me. I hope that, as someone who ostensibly makes a career out of being able to see things from the point of view of another person, fictional or otherwise, you may yet be willing to consider things from mine.

Comments

[soc_puppet]

Yeah, it's pretty problematic no matter how you slice it. On the plus side, he has just (within the last half hour, even) said he "will try to do better in the future".

Not that it was unproblematic in the George R. R. Martin post, but. It's a step in the right direction, at least.

[meigui]

Well, that's heartening, at least.

The thing that makes me uncomfortable on a global scale is that "dog" used to be pejorative in the same way, and had almost the same connotations of involuntary submission minus the sexual part, but that's fallen out of usage; meanwhile, "bitch" has risen to ubiquity and "bastard", which at least has the connotation of agency, has become almost exclusively male-gendered. Now "bitch" has started to be used for males, as well--in fact, in some circles, people who find it unacceptable to refer to a woman that way will feel perfectly fine using it on a man--but that still doesn't mean it's lost its genderedness, or all the crap that comes with the fact that it's a gendered pejorative. And that's a very uneasy sort of juxtaposition.

[soc_puppet]

Aaaaand now we've got backward momentum, sigh.

I think you've hit on something with the comparison to the word "dog" there; since "bitch" at its root is the female word for dog, it implies there is an inherent "sex object" quality to being female that was not present with the equivalent non-gendered term.

[meigui]

...Actually, given the way the question was worded, I would have interpreted it as "why are you using cuss words on the internets?" without the immediate context of the discussion in that post. It's possible he didn't make the connection between the ones asking about rape culture and the ones asking about George R. R. Martin, except to think that maybe someone's been spreading links around or something.

Well, yes, that's why I brought it up in the first place xD I can't think how else the current usage could have evolved, though, other than the two having once been roughly analogous until "dog" started losing currency, at which point "bitch" became its own word, so to speak, and the sexual meanings started to take over.

I rather wonder, actually, whether the usage of "bitch" to mean "to complain" is spillover from the Yiddish loanwoard "kvetch", which sounds kind of similar except that it's harder to pronounce. It's certainly not uncommon for similar-sounding words to get confused often enough that their meanings start to conflate--take "bemused" to "amused", for example, the former of which seems to be in the process of changing--some dictionaries lately will list a definition that incorporates the incorrect interpretation from conflating it with "amused". "Bitch", as a slang term, is naturally more sensitive to such forces because there is no prescriptive force on them, or at least nothing as definitive (hah) as a dictionary--the colloquial usage is itself the correct usage, always.

This might have in turn had an effect on the usage of "bitch" as a pejorative [edit: that is to say, the pejorative with the "rape" connotation as opposed to without], which I don't think entirely follows from the original pejorative use of "dog", which usually seemed to imply either unseemly dependence and deference (e.g. Alexander Pope's famous "I am his Highness' dog at Kew; pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?")--in other words, submission--or cowardice (which I think is probably a newer usage that derived from the aforementioned). But then you add complaint to submission, and--well.

...I'm sorry, I hope this isn't a derailment on my part :x

[soc_puppet]

That wouldn't surprise me, which is actually another reason I'm holding off actually sending the letter I left open up there.

I actually found that to be genuinely fascinating, but uh. Can't seem to generate any other comment on it at the moment ._.a *likes her some etymology*

[meigui]

Actually, I was wrong--Neil got the connection, but he was being defensive because of a delicate situation that was demanding the majority of his attention at the time (and still is)--Melissa McEwan has posted a followup in response. I think in this case I'm inclined to be sympathetic towards GNeil for his twitter responses--it's understandably difficult to engage in this kind of discussion when you're worried about your cat who is possibly dying at the veterinary hospital actually dying, period, lol I can has reading comprehension.

Etymology is my hobby! iloveitsomuch :3

Actually, it's funny--in its current usage, "bitch" seems to mean two things that are opposite--both "submissive person" and "pushy person", generally trending male in the first case and trending female in the second, though not necessarily. (Which. Lolproblematic again but!) There's a technical name for when you have a word that's its own antonym like that, but I can't remember it, and that frustrates me :(

[soc_puppet]

I saw Liss' followup post, and have read through the comments (current as of, oh, five minutes ago - I saw you there!), but haven't gotten to his post quite yet. I definitely feel for him on the pet front, and just thinking about it is making me want to snuggle my boys right this minute. While I might have done things differently in his circumstances - for example, explained in a post that I was dealing with a sick pet, and that I would like to give the language thing more thought/attention when I was not splitting my attention - I can understand that he might think that, as a public figure, he has to deal with it now or there will be worse consequences. So, while I am still somewhat disappointed by his reaction, I'm doing my best to temper it with this.

Etymology is so awesome ♥ It teaches me things I didn't know I knew about words I already know! ...Did that make sense?

It's certainly a fascinating word in that respect. Actually, as it's applied there, I would almost interpret it as "one who acts contradictory to the way they were socialized to act in accordance to gender". And then it meets woman-as-submissive and knocks that option out of the water. O words, u so weird.

[meigui]

Mmm, I find it's often better to be forgiving than not; for one thing, we all make mistakes, and we all sometimes cause hurt without meaning to, especially when we ourselves are hurting. I don't know. For me, it's partly from wanting to be fair to them and whatever aspect of their experience of which I might be unaware or unable to conceptualize on a personal level, but also partly as a personal defense mechanism. Double consciousness will drive me nuts if and when I let it keep me poised to jump all the time, which sometimes I do when I get a particularly bad headspace, and it does nothing at all to help get me out of it.

Actually, can I PM you about this? I have some personal anecdotes to share that I think might be useful for you, but I'm not sure it's appropriate to discuss in a public post.


You know, I think it's telling that usually the woman-as-submissive and man-as-pushy usages are--in my experience, anyway--found far more commonly in countercultural contexts, particularly GLBT communities or communities that have a lot of people who are also part of GLBT communities; so, actually, you might have something there.