Stress T-T

[soc_puppet]

Stupid stress! I hurt you now! *bashes stress with blunt object*

...Yeah. See, there's this important thing I'm thinking about right now. And I thought I had it all figured out at about 4:30 today, in the middle of Shinkendo (which made the remainder of the lesson loads of fun), and I felt really great, but then I got home and I started doubting again.

I've been repeating Sakura-san's Ultimate Spell over and over like a mantra in hopes of finding something to keep me stable, but it's not working as well as it usually does. At this point, I can only take a deep breath and step back for a moment so I can see things better.

I'm scared. I'm very scared. I'm probably at least as scared as I've ever been in my life. I think that what I'm mostly scared of right now is change. I mean, this might change everything. Or it might not change anything at all. Or it might just change a little or it might change a lot but not everything or...

If I'm only afraid of change, though, then I should probably swallow my fears and go through with it. Change is scary, yes, and it hurts a lot sometimes, but that's the way change is.

I'm also afraid, though, that it's not just change that I'm afraid of. I'm scared that I'm afraid of something else, and that's probably what's keeping me from acting.

*deep breath* Okay. I can do this. I'll be okay. 'I know everything will be alright.' Just one more day, that's all I'll need. Right. *breathes out*

...God, I hate uncertainty.

Comments

[mistressoffoxes.livejournal.com]

You know, if you need someone to talk to about this, you can always mail me, okay?...because...Ikindaalreadyknew,sorrysorrypleasedon'tkillme! I had promised I wouldn't say anything, and I'm kinda bound by my promises, you know? ^.^;

And I'm still keeping my promise, because I didn't say a thing

But my offer stands... If you want to talk, or hear another take on things, or simply want someone to tell the entire thing to, MAIL ME!

[soc_puppet]

*rolls her eyes* Geez, you people seem to think I'll blow up over the important stuff.

Look. I get human nature, okay? This is Not An Issue with me. The promise thing? Totally understandable. I'm not someone who would get upset over something like that.

With that out of the way, I would like someone to talk to. I've got church to go to in about ten minutes, but I'll look you up sometime after that, okay?

One final time, I am Not Mad. *hugs*

[mistressoffoxes.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Heh, sorry... I have just seen a bit to many people blow up over stuff like this before ^.^;a

And I'll try to somewhere near my computer... So it'll probably take a few minutes before I respond.