Ficbit: Communications 3/?
Aug. 29th, 2004 05:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soc_puppetCommunications
Fandom: Detective Conan/Magic Kaito
Summary: Aoko is worried about Kaito.
Nakamori Aoko was torn.
Today was the day of her class’s long-awaited trip to the local aquarium, and Kuroba Kaito, her best friend in the entire world, was being difficult.
It had started a few weeks ago when the permission forms had been handed out. For four days straight, Kaito had ‘lost’ his. On the fifth day, the teacher had finally given up and had Aoko take one to Kaito’s mother. Kuroba-san had thanked Aoko, signed the form, and had the girl hand it in the next day.
A few days after this, Kaito had tried playing ‘sick’, in order to get out of the trip in advance. His mother had somehow seen through his efforts all three days he’d tried it and still managed to get him out the door on time to walk to school with Aoko.
Following this, Kaito had seemed to give up and sulk, but Aoko knew from past experience that in reality he was plotting new and more complex ways to get out of the trip. Experience bore her out as that morning the fire alarm had gone off no less than five times before her class was scheduled to leave. There was no evidence of anything having set it off, but Aoko knew better, having seen Kaito messing with one of the devices before school.
When this failed to even delay the trip, Kaito had managed to disappear a total of six times—four times on the way to the bus, and twice on board, to the general delight of their classmates and distress of their teacher. Upon arriving at the aquarium, Kaito pulled his biggest stunt yet, attempting to fool the authorities with several false Kaitos. Unfortunately, the copies weren’t very good (a fact hindered by the class members who had been unwittingly disguised). The real Kaito had been found in a matter of minutes, and things returned, for the time being, to what passed as normal.
Thus, the teacher, believing the worst had passed, was unprepared for when Kaito had unobtrusively slipped off just before they started the tour. Aoko, however, had expected another attempt, and doubled back after her friend when the teacher wasn’t looking.
She had planned simply to find him and drag him back to where the class was, never mind how reluctant he seemed to be about the trip. But when she did find him in the lobby, he was doing magic tricks, entertaining passers-by. She watched the people watching Kaito as he smiled, making doves appear from thin air and then vanish with a poof of feathers. Suddenly, Aoko had second thoughts; this was the most like himself Kaito had acted in more than a month.
Kaito had been acting very unusual lately. Aoko would have understood if he was just sad or withdrawn—he had just lost his father, and she knew if her dad died it would make her sad—but this didn’t seem quite right somehow. He had acted sad the first day or so after the accident, but by the time the funeral took place he didn’t seem as down. Or, if he was, he didn’t act it.
Kaito had also been oddly quiet the past several weeks. Quiet and thoughtful, at odd intervals when he thought no one would notice. Aside from those infrequent spells, he’d acted more or less normal—well, normal for Kaito, anyway—but there was still a bit of a shadow to it. It was, Aoko thought, like he was thinking about something very important.
It made Aoko unhappy that Kaito couldn’t seem to share his problem with her, but mostly she was worried. Best friends, after all, were hard to come by.
So, when Aoko found Kaito delightedly performing magic for an amused crowd of onlookers, she also found herself faced with a choice: remain here with Kaito, not telling anyone, and risk the teacher’s wrath, or drag Kaito back to the tour and destroy this fragile happiness that had settled around him. And then she found there was no choice at all, really.
“Kaito!” Kaito turned and blinked large purple-blue eyes at his best friend in surprise.
“Aoko?”
Aoko scowled and crossed her arms. “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to do a magic show today? I coulda been your assistant!”
Kaito smiled at her, a warm, friendly, familiar smile. “You still can be, if you want,” he offered.
Aoko smiled back, just as brightly. “Good. Then I want to.”
Aoko laughed, giddily, as a dove appeared in a burst of small white flowers and perched on her head. Hopefully soon Kaito would tell her what was bothering him, but for now he was happy, and that was all that mattered.
—End—
This installment, together with the next one, gave me fits.
When I was originally plotting, this installment and the next one were to be just one installment, told from Aoko's POV (in the third-person limited sense of POV). After attempting to write it several times, and failing spectacularly, I broke it down and wrote this bit first.
Boy, did I ever need it >_<. I was almost tempted to call it 'comfort fic', because writing it made me feel better in the same manner comfort food does. I didn't in the end, mostly because I was afraid it would be confused with a 'hurt/comfort fic'.
I really like the way it turned out ^_^.
This bit was also the first one for which Summercloud was my official beta reader. She'd given great constructive criticism for all my DC fics, and when she made some suggestions in 'Searching' and left her e-mail, I took a chance and asked her if she'd like the position. She agreed, and now I don't know what I would do without her ^_^. I'd probably get on okay, but definately not as well.
To anyone else reading this: I really do appreciate constructive criticism. I do not blow up if you tell me there is something wrong with my fic. (I may mope for a few minutes, but I usually get over it quickly.) If I can't think of a good reason _not_ to use your advise, I probably will. Of course, considering I think of 'using it gives me writers block' as a good reason ^^;... Anyway, I don't bite people who have the guts to say they think they know a way I could make my work better.
Fandom: Detective Conan/Magic Kaito
Summary: Aoko is worried about Kaito.
Nakamori Aoko was torn.
Today was the day of her class’s long-awaited trip to the local aquarium, and Kuroba Kaito, her best friend in the entire world, was being difficult.
It had started a few weeks ago when the permission forms had been handed out. For four days straight, Kaito had ‘lost’ his. On the fifth day, the teacher had finally given up and had Aoko take one to Kaito’s mother. Kuroba-san had thanked Aoko, signed the form, and had the girl hand it in the next day.
A few days after this, Kaito had tried playing ‘sick’, in order to get out of the trip in advance. His mother had somehow seen through his efforts all three days he’d tried it and still managed to get him out the door on time to walk to school with Aoko.
Following this, Kaito had seemed to give up and sulk, but Aoko knew from past experience that in reality he was plotting new and more complex ways to get out of the trip. Experience bore her out as that morning the fire alarm had gone off no less than five times before her class was scheduled to leave. There was no evidence of anything having set it off, but Aoko knew better, having seen Kaito messing with one of the devices before school.
When this failed to even delay the trip, Kaito had managed to disappear a total of six times—four times on the way to the bus, and twice on board, to the general delight of their classmates and distress of their teacher. Upon arriving at the aquarium, Kaito pulled his biggest stunt yet, attempting to fool the authorities with several false Kaitos. Unfortunately, the copies weren’t very good (a fact hindered by the class members who had been unwittingly disguised). The real Kaito had been found in a matter of minutes, and things returned, for the time being, to what passed as normal.
Thus, the teacher, believing the worst had passed, was unprepared for when Kaito had unobtrusively slipped off just before they started the tour. Aoko, however, had expected another attempt, and doubled back after her friend when the teacher wasn’t looking.
She had planned simply to find him and drag him back to where the class was, never mind how reluctant he seemed to be about the trip. But when she did find him in the lobby, he was doing magic tricks, entertaining passers-by. She watched the people watching Kaito as he smiled, making doves appear from thin air and then vanish with a poof of feathers. Suddenly, Aoko had second thoughts; this was the most like himself Kaito had acted in more than a month.
Kaito had been acting very unusual lately. Aoko would have understood if he was just sad or withdrawn—he had just lost his father, and she knew if her dad died it would make her sad—but this didn’t seem quite right somehow. He had acted sad the first day or so after the accident, but by the time the funeral took place he didn’t seem as down. Or, if he was, he didn’t act it.
Kaito had also been oddly quiet the past several weeks. Quiet and thoughtful, at odd intervals when he thought no one would notice. Aside from those infrequent spells, he’d acted more or less normal—well, normal for Kaito, anyway—but there was still a bit of a shadow to it. It was, Aoko thought, like he was thinking about something very important.
It made Aoko unhappy that Kaito couldn’t seem to share his problem with her, but mostly she was worried. Best friends, after all, were hard to come by.
So, when Aoko found Kaito delightedly performing magic for an amused crowd of onlookers, she also found herself faced with a choice: remain here with Kaito, not telling anyone, and risk the teacher’s wrath, or drag Kaito back to the tour and destroy this fragile happiness that had settled around him. And then she found there was no choice at all, really.
“Kaito!” Kaito turned and blinked large purple-blue eyes at his best friend in surprise.
“Aoko?”
Aoko scowled and crossed her arms. “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to do a magic show today? I coulda been your assistant!”
Kaito smiled at her, a warm, friendly, familiar smile. “You still can be, if you want,” he offered.
Aoko smiled back, just as brightly. “Good. Then I want to.”
Aoko laughed, giddily, as a dove appeared in a burst of small white flowers and perched on her head. Hopefully soon Kaito would tell her what was bothering him, but for now he was happy, and that was all that mattered.
—End—
This installment, together with the next one, gave me fits.
When I was originally plotting, this installment and the next one were to be just one installment, told from Aoko's POV (in the third-person limited sense of POV). After attempting to write it several times, and failing spectacularly, I broke it down and wrote this bit first.
Boy, did I ever need it >_<. I was almost tempted to call it 'comfort fic', because writing it made me feel better in the same manner comfort food does. I didn't in the end, mostly because I was afraid it would be confused with a 'hurt/comfort fic'.
I really like the way it turned out ^_^.
This bit was also the first one for which Summercloud was my official beta reader. She'd given great constructive criticism for all my DC fics, and when she made some suggestions in 'Searching' and left her e-mail, I took a chance and asked her if she'd like the position. She agreed, and now I don't know what I would do without her ^_^. I'd probably get on okay, but definately not as well.
To anyone else reading this: I really do appreciate constructive criticism. I do not blow up if you tell me there is something wrong with my fic. (I may mope for a few minutes, but I usually get over it quickly.) If I can't think of a good reason _not_ to use your advise, I probably will. Of course, considering I think of 'using it gives me writers block' as a good reason ^^;... Anyway, I don't bite people who have the guts to say they think they know a way I could make my work better.
