Yet more RL stuff
Apr. 13th, 2011 11:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soc_puppetCan has second job at Orscheln's! \o/ Huzzah! Unfortunately, the hours are a bit screwier than I'd like, but I can live with it.
One of the consequences of the new hours is that Family Dinner Night has been moved from Thursday back to its previous Wednesday. We'd switched to Thursday because I work at the flower shop M/W/F, and don't get off until at least half an hour after everyone else. Of course, that's the cue for my new job to schedule me from four to nine on T/Th, which puts me getting off work a good four hours after everyone else. Between that, my hours of ten to seven on Saturday, and my brother working three-ish to between nine and midnight on the weekends, half an hour or an hour later on Wednesday doesn't seem too bad any more :P
Anyway, FDN tonight, and I had a rather bad time of it, I'm sad to say :( It's been four hours since it finished, and I'm only now really relaxed from it. It wasn't the food, or the company (or, well, it wasn't very much the company), but the whole situation stressed me out but good.
[TRIGGER WARNING: Social anxiety triggers] See, our fair city was/is doing this whole Taste of the City/"Riverfeast" thing. Basically, you buy tickets, restaurants put out stands with food items you can purchase with said tickets.
I don't know exactly what it was, but the entire combination of features this involved served to take away my spoons faster than usual. I'm going to try to break it down anyway.
* Talking to a bunch of different people in a bunch of different places about what I was ordering. Stressful! Talking to one new person in one new place at a time is bad enough, but talking to something like a dozen? Do not want T-T (This is also why I don't like eating at cafeterias, BTW.)
* Not being able to stick with the group very well. Group solidarity will help me feel safer than if I'm on my own, but while I was with my family, we were none of us exactly walking at the same pace, and we were all ordering individually. The stress of trying to keep up with the group/keep the group together combined with the stress of feeling like I was acting as an individual most of the time? Not fun.
* Eating while walking. I don't like to walk and eat. I like to SIT and eat. Or stand and eat, at least. I'm guessing there's deeply rooted or hard-wired stuff about eating and how it relates to safety/feeling safe (I know a lot of animals won't eat unless they feel safe), and walking around surrounded people I don't know with only a vague idea of any plans while trying to keep up with people I do know AND while trying to eat? I just. No. Please, no.
I wanted to stop and linger and eat somewhere, but my family wanted to keep going, and I so didn't want to go too slowly and block the sidewalk for other people who wanted to get through, and and and... Well, bad situation was bad :(
* Not knowing all the options available to me. This means I couldn't plan for what I wanted very well. I had to guess and take chances and hope that I would end up with stuff I liked. While I don't mind a little adventure in eating from time to time, I usually prefer it to be much more on my terms. Or at least with much more warning, so I can prepare myself for it. It was nice finding a few new places to eat sometime, and some of the food was genuinely quite good, but all at once was a bit much.
* It was all outdoors. This isn't too bad most of the time? I mean, the weather was downright FANTASTIC (70's F, dunno C (sorry), not a cloud in sight), but it was still kinda breezy. My hair's long enough that it'll blow into my face, and even pulling it into pigtails there's some strands that'll escape. I really don't like eating while my hair is blowing in my face, and possibly my mouth where I will have to distinguish it from food and/or drink. It is not comfortable for me.
* ...Okay, this was mostly a "straw that broke the camel's back" thing, but my dad has apparently developed an Issue with me having food on my mouth. Like, at all. I can tolerate it most of the time, but with everything else going on tonight, I was not up for it. I was half-way through a nice large ice cream bar (dipped in chocolate and oreo crumbs ♥), balancing said ice cream bar in one hand and a paper plate and cup in the other, when Dad makes a gesture with a napkin and tells me to wipe my mouth off.
I glared and snapped that I wasn't fucking done getting ice cream and chocolate on it, and I would clean it when I was, thank-you-very-much. Or something to that effect, but without the swearing.
Anyway, even though it was over in less than forty-five minutes, I was totally drained and more than ready to head home by the time I'd spent all my tickets and finished eating. I left with my nerves a jumbled mess and my anxiety high, self-conscious as fuckall. And typing all that up has gotten me a little more anxious, though the untimely return of Roommate J did not help that any.
On the plus side, I'm probably going to have zatar bread ready in about an hour, which I haven't eaten in entirely too long. It's a bit different than most recipes I've seen, in that the zatar is mixed into the bread rather than put on top, but the person my source for the recipe got it from said it tasted authentic when made this way, so I'm going with it. 'Sides, I like the taste better. I may be tough, but even I cannot withstand the test of thyme at such a level that zatar bread is usually made. Perhaps it's a small cultural or family variance?
I reeeaaally hope I like it as much as I remember; I'll totally make some to bring to Quire on my snack night if I do.
[Trigger warning: mention of sexual assault]
Other news: Excellent author and all-around awesome guy![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jimhines is running another not-a-raffle for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Here, have a thing:
In addition to the ARC of Snow Queen, he's giving out another prize for every $500 dollar mark reached (up to $5000). Last I knew, recorded funds were around $850, with the first two bonus prizes (to go to separate winners) announced: An autographed (physical) copy of Goblin Tales, and a cameo in his upcoming Libriomancer book/series.
I, um. Also offered to make a 12"/30cm amigurumi of one of his novel characters for a potential prize when I sent in my e-mail, and he seemed to like the idea, so er. That might be a thing that is happening! *flails a bit*
It also looks like![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
help_japan is going to have a lightning round and/or a second full round, so I'll possibly (probably) be signing up for at least one of those when they get here.
Oh, and I picked up the latest Tamora Pierce book! It's a collection of short stories, including a couple I'd been hoping to see (the story of a Shang warrior, and also that tree from the end of Wolf Speaker) as well as some I never knew I'd wanted to see but was delighted by regardless (Kitten! Mathematics! Non-Tortall stuff! Whee!). [TRIGGER WARNING for some of the stories: Religious stuff in "Elder Brother", "The Hidden Girl"; Injured animals (that heal) in "Mimic"; Emotional, physical abuse in "Lost". Probably some for "Testing", though I haven't actually gotten to that one yet; I got distracted after starting the one just prior to it, but it's got an intro that should give you an idea of what to expect? Er. Hopefully. I think that's about everything? It's all handled pretty well, IMO, as is the standard for Ms Pierce. If you're familiar with her other work, it's about the same level, I'd say. Tortall more than Circle of Magic, even.] Anyway, I've eaten it up so far ♥
Whoops; almost time to get the bread in the oven. Later, folks :)
Edit: Bread's out! And it looks and smells pretty much as tasty as I remember it <3 Though I'm going to have to remember to bake it in separate batches next time; the one from the bottom-most pan is a bit singed ^^a Time for a taste test, methinks :)
[minutes later]
Okay, I'm calling this a success X3 (Soooo good! Though, uh, less so if you don't care for thyme.)
One of the consequences of the new hours is that Family Dinner Night has been moved from Thursday back to its previous Wednesday. We'd switched to Thursday because I work at the flower shop M/W/F, and don't get off until at least half an hour after everyone else. Of course, that's the cue for my new job to schedule me from four to nine on T/Th, which puts me getting off work a good four hours after everyone else. Between that, my hours of ten to seven on Saturday, and my brother working three-ish to between nine and midnight on the weekends, half an hour or an hour later on Wednesday doesn't seem too bad any more :P
Anyway, FDN tonight, and I had a rather bad time of it, I'm sad to say :( It's been four hours since it finished, and I'm only now really relaxed from it. It wasn't the food, or the company (or, well, it wasn't very much the company), but the whole situation stressed me out but good.
[TRIGGER WARNING: Social anxiety triggers] See, our fair city was/is doing this whole Taste of the City/"Riverfeast" thing. Basically, you buy tickets, restaurants put out stands with food items you can purchase with said tickets.
I don't know exactly what it was, but the entire combination of features this involved served to take away my spoons faster than usual. I'm going to try to break it down anyway.
* Talking to a bunch of different people in a bunch of different places about what I was ordering. Stressful! Talking to one new person in one new place at a time is bad enough, but talking to something like a dozen? Do not want T-T (This is also why I don't like eating at cafeterias, BTW.)
* Not being able to stick with the group very well. Group solidarity will help me feel safer than if I'm on my own, but while I was with my family, we were none of us exactly walking at the same pace, and we were all ordering individually. The stress of trying to keep up with the group/keep the group together combined with the stress of feeling like I was acting as an individual most of the time? Not fun.
* Eating while walking. I don't like to walk and eat. I like to SIT and eat. Or stand and eat, at least. I'm guessing there's deeply rooted or hard-wired stuff about eating and how it relates to safety/feeling safe (I know a lot of animals won't eat unless they feel safe), and walking around surrounded people I don't know with only a vague idea of any plans while trying to keep up with people I do know AND while trying to eat? I just. No. Please, no.
I wanted to stop and linger and eat somewhere, but my family wanted to keep going, and I so didn't want to go too slowly and block the sidewalk for other people who wanted to get through, and and and... Well, bad situation was bad :(
* Not knowing all the options available to me. This means I couldn't plan for what I wanted very well. I had to guess and take chances and hope that I would end up with stuff I liked. While I don't mind a little adventure in eating from time to time, I usually prefer it to be much more on my terms. Or at least with much more warning, so I can prepare myself for it. It was nice finding a few new places to eat sometime, and some of the food was genuinely quite good, but all at once was a bit much.
* It was all outdoors. This isn't too bad most of the time? I mean, the weather was downright FANTASTIC (70's F, dunno C (sorry), not a cloud in sight), but it was still kinda breezy. My hair's long enough that it'll blow into my face, and even pulling it into pigtails there's some strands that'll escape. I really don't like eating while my hair is blowing in my face, and possibly my mouth where I will have to distinguish it from food and/or drink. It is not comfortable for me.
* ...Okay, this was mostly a "straw that broke the camel's back" thing, but my dad has apparently developed an Issue with me having food on my mouth. Like, at all. I can tolerate it most of the time, but with everything else going on tonight, I was not up for it. I was half-way through a nice large ice cream bar (dipped in chocolate and oreo crumbs ♥), balancing said ice cream bar in one hand and a paper plate and cup in the other, when Dad makes a gesture with a napkin and tells me to wipe my mouth off.
I glared and snapped that I wasn't fucking done getting ice cream and chocolate on it, and I would clean it when I was, thank-you-very-much. Or something to that effect, but without the swearing.
Anyway, even though it was over in less than forty-five minutes, I was totally drained and more than ready to head home by the time I'd spent all my tickets and finished eating. I left with my nerves a jumbled mess and my anxiety high, self-conscious as fuckall. And typing all that up has gotten me a little more anxious, though the untimely return of Roommate J did not help that any.
On the plus side, I'm probably going to have zatar bread ready in about an hour, which I haven't eaten in entirely too long. It's a bit different than most recipes I've seen, in that the zatar is mixed into the bread rather than put on top, but the person my source for the recipe got it from said it tasted authentic when made this way, so I'm going with it. 'Sides, I like the taste better. I may be tough, but even I cannot withstand the test of thyme at such a level that zatar bread is usually made. Perhaps it's a small cultural or family variance?
I reeeaaally hope I like it as much as I remember; I'll totally make some to bring to Quire on my snack night if I do.
[Trigger warning: mention of sexual assault]
Other news: Excellent author and all-around awesome guy
jimhines is running another not-a-raffle for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Here, have a thing:
Support rape crisis centers and enter to win an advance copy of The Snow Queen’s Shadow, by Jim C. Hines.
In addition to the ARC of Snow Queen, he's giving out another prize for every $500 dollar mark reached (up to $5000). Last I knew, recorded funds were around $850, with the first two bonus prizes (to go to separate winners) announced: An autographed (physical) copy of Goblin Tales, and a cameo in his upcoming Libriomancer book/series.
I, um. Also offered to make a 12"/30cm amigurumi of one of his novel characters for a potential prize when I sent in my e-mail, and he seemed to like the idea, so er. That might be a thing that is happening! *flails a bit*
It also looks like
help_japan is going to have a lightning round and/or a second full round, so I'll possibly (probably) be signing up for at least one of those when they get here.Oh, and I picked up the latest Tamora Pierce book! It's a collection of short stories, including a couple I'd been hoping to see (the story of a Shang warrior, and also that tree from the end of Wolf Speaker) as well as some I never knew I'd wanted to see but was delighted by regardless (Kitten! Mathematics! Non-Tortall stuff! Whee!). [TRIGGER WARNING for some of the stories: Religious stuff in "Elder Brother", "The Hidden Girl"; Injured animals (that heal) in "Mimic"; Emotional, physical abuse in "Lost". Probably some for "Testing", though I haven't actually gotten to that one yet; I got distracted after starting the one just prior to it, but it's got an intro that should give you an idea of what to expect? Er. Hopefully. I think that's about everything? It's all handled pretty well, IMO, as is the standard for Ms Pierce. If you're familiar with her other work, it's about the same level, I'd say. Tortall more than Circle of Magic, even.] Anyway, I've eaten it up so far ♥
Whoops; almost time to get the bread in the oven. Later, folks :)
Edit: Bread's out! And it looks and smells pretty much as tasty as I remember it <3 Though I'm going to have to remember to bake it in separate batches next time; the one from the bottom-most pan is a bit singed ^^a Time for a taste test, methinks :)
[minutes later]
Okay, I'm calling this a success X3 (Soooo good! Though, uh, less so if you don't care for thyme.)
