(no subject)

[soc_puppet]

At long last, I have my prozac again! I can chase away this stupid anxiety like pidgeons in the park! Well, hopefully.

Got some more work done on East Wind. Really enjoying it ^_^ I should write more Naruto fic. Almost done with the sceene. Hope to post soon. I really seem to be more productive when in school ^^; I almost never get anything done at home 9_9

On that note, Grandma's going home on Thursday. I'll be sad to see her go, but it'll be nice to have a little time to myself when I'm at home. Not that I'll really be getting any for the next week or so (Mom'll still be out recovering) but at least I have something to look forward to, yanno? It's hard to really focus on work when I have the looming fear that at any moment a random parent will recruit me to do a chore =_= Or ask what I'm doing, or look over my shoulder to see what I'm writing/reading, or any number of other things. Given this thought, I'm beginning to think it would be better if I moved out and got some time on my own after all. I'm really not enjoying family vacations any more (definitely not to the extent of non-family vacations, anyway) and I'm feeling a little... I don't know. Trapped? Smothered? Pressured? (Of all of these, the last is the one I am least able to stand >_< Expectations = yuck.) Ah, well, I'll figure it out. I know I'm not ready to live completely on my own at least. I'll probably try for something with a roommate if I do get out on my own. Nice clear boundaries and all that.

I'm also wary about my parents finding out about my new relationship with Pat. I mean, I know they'll be accepting and stuff, but I'm still not sure I want them to know. In my mind at least, it's none of their business. Beyond that, I'm afraid they'll think I'm a lesbian. I want to make it very clear that I'm not--that there's a difference between being homosexual and bisexual that I'm not sure they're aware of. This time last year I wasn't worried about this, but then Mom asked if I had decided on one or the other or if I was still bisexual. That really kinda hurt me, and I'm not sure how to handle things anymore. I'm like Dee from Fake in that I don't want people confusing my sexuality -_- *uses him as a role model to an extent* And then there was the time a few years ago when I was going to sleep over at Pat's house and Dad made a point of asking if there would be any 'hanky-panky' going on. I was mortified. I guess that probably had the most to do with how I'm going about this. It's like, if they don't care enough to ask me if I'm with someone before making assumptions, I have no reason to tell them if I'm with anyone.

Anyway, semi-minor issues that I'm going to have to pick at. (Don't want to call 'em big 'cuz they're not overwhelming, but don't wanna call 'em little either.) 'M done moping about this for now; I know most of you probably don't read this journal for this sort of thing ^^; with the exception of my RL friends--at least the ones who don't read fanfic 9_9a I just tend to think better 'on paper', yanno?

Closing note:
I knew a man with a metal leg named Ed.
Oh? What was the name of his other leg?

Comments

[mistressoffoxes.livejournal.com]

*looks at Closing note*

...I swear, if I hear another joke about "I know a man with a metal leg named Ed"...

Besides, my automail leg is named Fred :3

[soc_puppet]

...There's a lot of them out there then?

How 'bout a joke about a man with a metal arm named Ed, then? :3

[mistressoffoxes.livejournal.com]

Oh, but my arm is named Fred :3

I thought you knew :3

[soc_puppet]

...Wait, so both your arm and your leg are named Fred? Are there any other named automail parts that I should be aware of?

[mistressoffoxes.livejournal.com]

...Wait, I mean "Bob", not Fred >.<

And well, I have an entire suit of armor named Al :3

[(Anonymous)]

Just a touch of groundwork... Uncaring parents are outside the parameters of this discussion, besides which, I don't think they are relevant here. Obviously, then, when parents are referred to here, they must be assumed to be caring parents. Further, if any of this is painfully obvious, I'm sorry to bore you with it. I don't mean to be pedantic.

'rents sometimes operate under this preconceived notion that, as their experience in life and social situations is much longer than is that of their offspring, they might have additional insights to offer.

'rents often have, in addition to hopes and dreams for their children, preferences. These preferences do not represent a wall of authority that they feel should be projected but rather, simply, preferences. An example of this might be if child "A" expresses in late elementary school a desire to become a veterinarian. Veterinarians make a reasonable living, work in an environment which is generally not too stressful and are respected members of the community at large. These factors are important in one's overall quality of life. Because the projection of child "A"'s chosen career upon his or her life is positive, parents can feel good about this choice. If, later in life, child "A" decides that a career in east Asian studies and languages better fits his or her interests, this changes the factors of life and how parents view child "A"'s chosen career. While this would not necessarily be a universal reaction, the parents might feel that this later chosen career would likely not be as financially rewarding, not have as much job security and perhaps even not meet with as much societal esteem. These are comparative negatives that the 'rents see. On the positive side, the 'rents want very much for child "A" to be happy and working a job in which one is interested can contribute greatly to one's happiness as compared with working a job with high financial compensation, high esteem and no interest. So, the 'rents are pleased to have child "A" pursue whatever career he or she chooses. How the 'rents feel about all of this is what boils down to preferences. The parents can be quite accepting of life choices by their offspring that are not in complete harmony with their (the parents') preferences.

'rents can also feel the same way about their children's sexuality. It is easy to think that straights have a higher likelihood of finding "that special someone they want to annoy for the rest of their life" (Rita Rudner) if for no other reason than that there are some nine times as many potential partners from which to choose. Still, the 'rents might realize that sexuality is not really a decision one makes and that, if child "A" can find happiness, this is to the good.

Whether or not you tell your parents of your relationship is, of course, entirely your own business. I certainly won't be the one to do so. And yet, I encourage you to do so. They care deeply about you; educate them. If they should find out somehow other than by you telling them, they might feel hurt at your not having told them. Besides, in any relationship I've been in, my experience is that I've been pleased and proud to have been there. If you don't want to share your joy, are you sure you're where you want to be?

*sigh*

[soc_puppet]

...You know, I just wrote a really long and more or less in-depth reply to this, and then the computer ate it. I'll try and cover the main points again, but I don't think I'm up for trying to re-write it at the moment.

You're right, I'm not in a very good place at the moment. I hadn't really realized it ^^; I'm going to start doing what I can to change that, starting with a serious talk with aforementioned 'rents (whom I love dearly and are indeed loving and caring and give good advice when I'm in the mood to listen (more often than most teenagers, I think, but not always as often as would be good for me)) about dating, and setting up the ground rules and things of similar nature. So, thank you very much for giving me a shove in the right direction. Or at least a direction, because stagnation was getting me nowhere fast.

Thanks again, Anonymous Person. With any luck, I'll feel more in control of my life soon.