Meme + music joke

[soc_puppet]

Nabbed from... a couple of people, actually.

Mingle² - Online Dating

...They must not be reading very far back is all I can say. Okay, use of the word 'ass' I get, but use of the word 'zombie'? How do zombies get me a PG rating? For that matter, how does 'ass' only warrant PG?

Also, all this is doing is making me want to make a 'kinks' meme more than jeva_chan already has.



C, E-flat and G go into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."

Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're a minor and the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suite with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development."

Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

On appeal, however, C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental.

The judge rules that all contrary motions are bassless.

-----

I was in pun-induced pain after reading that. The good kind of pun-induced pain, but nevertheless.


And I'll close by saying that I keep wanting to use my Sonoko icons in this journal, and I'm wondering if I shouldn't just give up on the idea of not doing so.

Edit: I'm using how many of my userpics already?! Jeez, maybe I should reconsider uploading Face on Mars. *goes deleting*

Comments

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

No kinks meme.

[soc_puppet]

Yes kinks meme. It'll be combined with a fanfic meme, how can you say no?

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

I can say no because I still owe a lot of fics because of fics memes and anyway, I said before that I wasn't going to do any kink meme.

[thesuzukimethod.livejournal.com]

*eyeroll* It'll be something more like "reply to this post with a character/pairing or fandom and one of your kinks and I will write a (really short) fic with them". So you won't have to do any of the writing yourself. And I'm still interested, darnit! I'll create a non-fic kink list and tag you with it if I have to!

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

Ah... well, in that case, sounds like fun! And no. I will never respond to a meme like that and there's no way you can MAKE me.

[thesuzukimethod.livejournal.com]

See? I thought you would like it. DDD: Not even if I make puppy eyes or offer to bribe you? You don't have to leave it public or anything, locked is fine!

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

But it's still asking for a kink of mine, which I will have to admit to if I want a ficcy out of you. Which is totally unfair, really. Can't we just name any old kink? Even ones that don't apply to ourselves? ... what kind of bribe?

[thesuzukimethod.livejournal.com]

Dude. Jeva. How else am I supposed to get them from you? Unless it involves aft-mentioned bribery, that is. And I suppose that if you were really that picky I could kinda vaguely combine the two memes - that is, include a list of my own kinks in the fic one, and people could choose one of those if they couldn't think of anything better. Though I'd probably tag a "Re-post this in your own journal" clause on the end if I did that. Art or ficcage, your choice fandom & pairing (though I reserve the right to refuse something I anti-ship). Any rating.

[thesuzukimethod.livejournal.com]

Also, and I really shouldn't be pointing this out, if you did just name any old kink and it wasn't one of yours, how would I know. ...Though I would thereafter assume it was yours, so pick carefully >3

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

Good question. But really, I am not putting up a list of my kinks. Since, you know, there are reasons I don't talk about my kinks. But meh... I'll think about it. Hm... should I accept the bribe or not? Choices, choices...

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

... you have a point there. Hm. Again, something to think about *pondersponders*

[thesuzukimethod.livejournal.com]

Actually, I didn't know there were reasons. Though if you'd care to enlighten me, I'll decide for myself whether I consider your reasons 'worthy' or not. Don't let me influence you, rly.

[thesuzukimethod.livejournal.com]

Again, choose carefully.

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

Well, you can really officially say something is your kink unless you've really experienced it, right? I've yet to do anything, so part of the reason I don't talk about my kinks is because I have no basis for most of them. I only know that I find myself more than a bit entertained if I think about them. If you really want just at least one kink from my list that's pretty much confirmed, I can easily say that zippers are a weakness of mine. I like zippers. I like unzipping them even more. ... so far only confirmed with stuff like jackets and shirts and such. No pants to speak of. I basically feel a need to unzip someone if they're zipped up~ Ahahah, you're a riot.

i'm baaaa-aaaack

[lyzzle.livejournal.com]

That story was terrific. :D ALSO. I found pornandkittens in one of your previous entries and may I just thank you say that you are completely awesome AWFUL for joining it!

Okay, that's enough of that. XD That rating thing won't work on my LJ since it's friends-only. :< But I totally approve of you doing this 'kinks' meme!

PS: I'm completely caught up with both xxxHOLiC and Tsubasa. I hate Clamp. ;_;

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

...I am a music major, and I think that whole thing just made my brain go 'splody @_@

Kink meme? *is intrigued* Post it. Then I have an excuse to gank it and make people plunnie me to write more smut! Right? Right. Because we all need a little more smut in our daily lives, I say... :D

[thesuzukimethod.livejournal.com]

...Now, see, that I can't answer, due to the also lacking experience part. I tend to just classify them as "things that make me a little hotter when I think about them in conjunction with sex". (My specialty is explaining the difference between a kink and a fetish, BTW.)

Good to know! *takes note*

:DDD

Yaaaaaay, she's back she's back!

[thesuzukimethod.livejournal.com]

:Db Awesome! >:D *lives it up* pornandkittens rocks.

Oh, well :< XD I'll do my best to come up with an appropriate wording for it.

Yeah. Yeah, I kinda do, too. *is more than a few months behind, but has kinda gotten some of the gist from CFUD, ehehee ^^a*

[thesuzukimethod.livejournal.com]

XD I only really got about half of it, but the rest I could kinda guess at, so.

Right, will do :3b And yes. Ohohoohoho!

*bows*

[lyzzle.livejournal.com]

It definitely does. I plan to complain there often once I work up the courage to delurk.

YAY.

What do you mean? Are they talking about it?

Re: *bows*

[thesuzukimethod.livejournal.com]

DELURKING, GO! I'm still trying to work out what I want to ask for, myself.

*salute!*

Yes and no? Mostly no, I assume. *is way behind on Holic, BTW* I did pick up the stuff about Himawari's background and the accident with Watanuki and Doumeki and stuff from shamelessly reading all the Gaara+Himawari threads that were linked in Himawari's journal ...yeah, what the strikeouts said. And I'm current through bloodsucking and slightly into chess for TRC. Er. Is there more I should know and/or focus on getting NOW NOW NOW?

Re: *bows*

[lyzzle.livejournal.com]

I have tons of things to ask for, I just need to decide what I want first. XD

Um. Yes. ...Yes. You should get Fai's backstory. Or at least, what we have of it. And what's going down with Watanuki and Sakura. Sounds like you're not too far behind. I actually have all of it on this computer if you want me to upload it. :D

Re: *bows*

[thesuzukimethod.livejournal.com]

Well, if it's something I know (and don't anti-ship), I'll do my best to help out? POST, YOUNG GIRL! THERE'S NO SHAME IN MAKING MORE THAN ONE AS THE MOOD STRIKES.

What. What. We have what now. And what. what o_o




yes plz plz to upload for me plz plz plz plz ♥♥♥

Re: *bows*

[lyzzle.livejournal.com]

:D SIR, YES, SIR.

That's what I said.

Uploading in progress! I'm just going to give you everything I have, just in case. If it's not enough, I can probably link you to places to get the rest.

[lyzzle.livejournal.com]

Your icon is adorable. :D